The Biggest Waste of Time

I'm sitting at the kitchen table, toggling between IM chatter, creating a sales presentation for a client and periodically checking my email, all the while I really have to go to the bathroom (#1, not #2 sickos), but can't seem to find a synchronous spot in my multitasking to break away.

I am dancing in my seat to music that doesn't exist. When I realize I look just like Harrison did about 3 hours earlier while he played with this toys on the floor, I put my grown up hat on and just go to the bathroom.

I sit down and I notice the very large mound of toilet paper that has been unwound from the roll and is lying in a heap on the ground just below the roll, held securely to the roll by several squares. I begin to reroll the toilet paper because its nearly a whole damn roll and as I'm re-rolling nearly an ENTIRE roll of toilet paper back onto the holder, I realize......

....this is the biggest waste of time ever. I have just lost 30 seconds of my life that I will never get back to save .75.

Wow.

My Latest Wo-mance

A coworker sent this link to me (click on the title) and I love this woman. 

Such a way with words.......

I think I should check my husband's trunk.

Not Rated E

Last week I received this comment about my blog from my good friend, Jennifer, "Oh my...almost peed myself reading your blogs...you are a great writer....very funny Cori! Love it!" (Sorry, Jen, for not obtaining your consent for the use of your comment as a blog testimonial, but well, these things just come to me and I gotta roll with it. I'll take it off if you really want to be a prude about it.)

Anyway, when I started this thing a couple of years ago, I had no idea I would develop a very short list of readers who actually email me looking for new material to read. The key to this post is that while the list is in fact, very short, these people get me and they encourage me to keep going. 

I really try not to offend people in my posts, but I do acknowledge that how I see (and write) things is not for everyone. While most of my posts do end up being about the boys, I try to twist it in a way that makes even people without kids want to read it, so its not just sappy mom speak that only my mother and me would appreciate. Who wants to read that crap?

I've been told I should be a writer and I have to admit I have contemplated the concept, fully knowing that NO ONE would really pay MONEY to read my thoughts, but its nevertheless a thought I haven't thrown out with the stinky garbage (just placed on a pile of "to look at later" material).  When my company launched a new corporate website, fully loaded with a blog that all employees were supposed to contribute to, I thought, well, I can do this.

So, I've written two posts, that remain as drafts, unpublished and now dusty. The first I tried to make it relevant to marketers and serious and professional and businesslike (even though we are promoting a new internal "antiboredom campaign"). The second, I wrote more like me, rants about my experiences as a consumer, but that too sits on the shelf. 

I try not to let it get to me, especially when comments like Jen's come through. It just makes me realize that I am not rated E (for everyone) and I don't really want to be.

Dr. Jake & Mr. Happy, Hug My Peet & Other Weekend Tidbits

Jake is a fantastic kid - smart, sweet, creative, quiet and imaginative. He has lots of friends and never seems to have trouble socializing in many kid friendly environments. This is why I was surprised to walk into El Fenix on Wednesday "enchilada night" and found Jake clinging in fear to Jason's leg, while he Jason and Harrison waited for our table. He only parted himself from Jason enough to move toward gripping my hips and hiding behind me. When I turned around to ask him what was wrong, his wide eyes would only look down until I forced him to look at me, and then he'd just look around me at the other groups of people waiting for their tables. He was very adamant that everyone was looking at him and it scared him. We only waited about five minutes before we had him secured in a booth, but he was so bothered by his trauma in the lobby that he wouldn't even eat. I had a hard time understanding this was the same kid who just the day before was leading his friends in pool races and fell down in silliness with his tongue hanging out when he got hit with a beach ball. Tonight Jake had Harrison laughing on the potty while he pretended to be a dog who kept running into the wall. Then he moved on to a new audience (Jason and me) while he threw his dirty socks in his closet, one at a time and said "score" both times. Jason and I laughed, both of us thinking, "where does he get this stuff?"

We know where Jake gets his potty mouth - definitely his mom. Yes, I'll admit it. I don't do much to filter my language around the kids. I'm trying to improve that parental failure, but we socialize so much at the house unexpectedly, it just comes out. I know, I know, bad excuse. So, this weekend when Jake was trying to turn the television on and couldn't do it, he blurted out, "This damn tv won't turn on." Jason corrected his colorful choice of words.....and then reminded me that "the boys are listening."

Harrison is a boy with spunk. He does his own thing and follows his own rules, which I keep trying to replace with my rules, but he's feisty and I dig it, because he's well, a mini me of me. Most of the time his energy is a Harrison-ized version of Jake's imagination, but sometimes he comes up with things on his own that make Jason and me look at each other in disbelief that he is really only 3 years old.  This afternoon we were all by the pool and someone wanted juice. Jason sent Harrison into the house to get juiceboxes for everyone. He didn't say how many, but just to get them. I was shocked when Harrison came out with 4 juices. I'm not claiming this makes him a genius or even on par with his peers, but it sure surprised me that he came out with 4 all at one time. I would have expected him to come out with two, hand them out and then realize he needed two more. Perhaps I don't give him enough credit. 

Then, on a lighter note, tonight at bedtime, Jason and I told the kids good night. We hugged, kissed and tucked Jake into bed and then moved over to Harrison. While Jake was lying head on pillow and body under covers, Harrison was lying on his back, crosswise on his bed with his legs in the air and he demanded that Jason and I give him "peet (feet) hugs" and "peet kisses". Then he wanted no covers and would not lie his head down on his pillow. His own rules......