Monday, December 21, 2009

Something missing

Had my children. Missed him.

Have him. Miss my children.

Someday I'll have everything.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Deerfield Lights

Saw these tonight during our drive. So so cool.


Found a blog that has helped to pick me back up when my expected support system has failed me. If you're going through, have gone through or are considering divorce, this is reassuring.

Friday, December 18, 2009


Harrison Sure Can Pick 'Em

"I don't eat my boogers anymore. I don't like boogers."

--Harrison as I put on his shoes this morning and he didn't quite know what to do with the booger he picked

"Look at all the frosting on the houses this morning!"

--Harrison commenting on the frost on the rootfops as we drove Jake to school

Thursday, December 17, 2009

You Don't Know Me

i'm sorry if my journey through this short life toward happiness so far has inflicted any amount of hurt, pain, anger, hatred or disappointment. those who believe it was intentional, you don't know me at all.

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Dinner = Growth

After 3 unsuccessful attempts to dress Jake in pants that fit, we finally found some that didn't look like he was shopping the Michael Jackson collection, circa 1984.

I asked him (jokingly of course) to quit growing. Jake's response to that is always, "but I'll die." Harrison, in the background in the middle of a space shuttle launch countdown, offered his own, less morbid response.

"Jake keeps growing because you keep making him dinner."

Sunday, September 20, 2009

A Change of Perspective

My boys are back and sleeping soundly in their bunks beds. Seems like they were just laughing and bouncing around a few minutes ago, but they've long since settled down and I'm happy to have them with me.

My perspective on having them has changed.

Today I don't feel like a mother itching to act single. I feel like a single woman, happy to be a mother.

Today I don't feel like driving a car that gets attention. I feel like driving a car my children will be comfortable in (and can see out of the windows without needing to strain their necks).

Today I am not satisfied with providing the bare necessities for my boys. I want a place I call home, that I can make comfortable for them. A place they look forward to staying at, playing at, laughing at. I hope to have that place soon.

Today I know I did not hug them enough, tell them I love them enough or play with them enough.

Cow Pee

During snacktime today, which consisted of a brownie and milk, Harrison announced that the milk he was drinking was actually cow pee.


Friday, September 18, 2009

Step Aside If You Like Your Knees

Got this email from Jason today. Offers a little insight into my 4 year old's personality.

So, Harrison rides his big wheel to Jake's school everyday. Yesterday on the way back home he did something a little nuts. The middleschool kids are all standing in the sidewalk waiting for the bus. Harrison decided to make a full speed run directly at them hoping they would move.  They did, all scrambling to not get hit in the shins by the crazy kid on the big wheel. Harrison didn't slow down or even blink (he had that crazed look in his eye). I apologized for him. Today, they lined the edge of the sidewalk and cheered him on as he came barreling through. Seems he now has the upperclassmen's respect.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Blah Days

I feel:


Mostly blah.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

I'm Sorry If My Baggage Lands In Your Yard

Um, I've done the unimaginable. I, Cori Lawrence, have been to church twice in the past month.

Seems it was a timely reintroduction to living a life with faith as Spring Creek Community Church was doing a multi part series on the power of forgiveness.

The first sermon described the amazing act of forgiveness that Nelson Mandela showed to his captors after he'd been imprisoned for more than two decades and how, with the help of Bishop Desmond Tutu, he led an anti-apartheid movement in South Africa.

The sermon today focused on the spirit of forgiveness from Eva Kor toward the Nazis and Dr. Josef Mengele for the experiments Dr. Mengele performed on Eva and her twin sister. Several moving videos from WWII and interviews with Eva Kor were shown to further demonstrate just how amazing her willingness to forgive was after experiencing such brutality and torture.

In closing the pastor explained the purpose of the red helium filled balloon that hovered over the stage and how it symbolized the person or action that has hurt us and how we should write on the balloon what that action or who that person is and then say a prayer and let it go. Everyone was given a red helium filled balloon as we left the sermon.

I took my balloon outside. Before I uncapped my sharpie to begin writing away my pain, I looked around at all of the children, tightly holding on to their balloons, who were still too young to carry the burden of anger and hate. I envied them. Then I looked to the sky and watch as the hurt and pain of others floated higher and higher until eventually out of view and I wrote my hurt on my balloon and let it go, to join the others.

I'm not sure it effectively removed my pain from that person, all with the opening of my hand as the string slid away. Though I hope that in the future when I think again about how that person has wronged me, I'll imagine the moment I let my balloon go, and maybe in time, it won't hurt quite so much.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Nothingness Inspired

Watched this in front of Jim the other day. He didn't think it nearly as funny as I did. I like potty humor and farts make me laugh. Yep, I said it, "farts".

SNL Gas Right

Randomness & Nothingness

Its raining and I'm wondering why do wet dogs stink so bad? Even when they're clean and just bathed, they stink. I've puzzled this till my puzzler was sore.

I'm reading a book called People Are Unappealing by Sara Barron. Its written in essay style by a Jewish girl from NY who seems to have a knack for meeting the best that society has to offer. I've convinced a coworker to start reading it and I've embarrassed myself many a time at Barnes and Noble from laughing out loud. I'm also reading, very slowly I might add, the True Blood series, but it just doesn't have me hooked like Twilight did. I wish real well-written literature struck my fancy but really I just wanna laugh. Its probably why The Three Martini Playdate is still one of my favorites and probably why I read Ellen DeGeneres' books at least twice.

Laughing makes me do balloons shaped like Christmas ornaments....and clean high thread count sheets......and when my cell phone is fully charged.

Think this was more randomness. I'll bring nothingness to the table later.

Babies, The Boys and Me, Oh My!

Jake had his 8th birthday yesterday and though I spent a lot of time executing traditional birthday efforts and a few that are special for us, you might as well thought it was a milestone birthday for me that I did not want to hit. My mother said my Dad spent his 30th birthday in bed. Not one for drama, I spent mine having cake with the boys, so I think I took it pretty well.

But Jake's 8th birthday was hard on me. Seems to me that he's completely through the first third of the time I'm responsible to get him to full adult hood (including college) and he'll soon be doing things and going places independently. This is an exciting time for him and I'm pleased, so far, with the work I've done.

Harrison will be 5 this year. Harrison works the TV, my AppleTv to play music, the Wii....all on his own. He "fixes" his own breakfast, does laundry, lets Moe out and can dress himself completely. I woke up this morning, in peace, Harrison fully sufficient to entertain, clothe and feed himself. Its an amazing feeling to have time to myself again, without the demands of babies dictating the direction of how my time is spent.

But why is it that I look at their baby pictures with that sense of longing for chubby cheeks, toothless grins, their smells, their bald heads, itty bitty shoes and somehow wish I could relive that time with them? I hated it at the time, but mostly the sleepless nights, the illnesses that make you feel powerless, the crying, the complete dependency......all those things that eventually you forget about in favor of the cuteness, the sweetness, the innocence.

Having an 8 year old makes me feel old...........but not old enough have outgrown the longing for another one.........

If you know think I've gone nuts. If you don't, you're probably inappropriately going "oooh, how sweet."

No, not sweet. I've gone nuts.

Monday, February 09, 2009

Desperate Housewives Drive Lexus (and So Should You)

Last night's episode of Desperate Housewives included the most blatant product placement I've seen (and heard) in a very long time. We're not talking about a simple little camera close up on the brand image, but a full blown two to three minutes of actual script time as well. I don't have the time to isolate the scene for you, but it is at the very beginning of the episode - right after the opening credits. If you thought you had the opportunity to walk away or fast forward during commercial time, think again.....

Lexus Placement, Episode 14

Saturday, January 24, 2009

The Simple Life

I want the worries of my children:

>>freaking out that the bathtub water has gotten too high and might overflow

>>frustration over being not being able to button their pants after they pee

>>getting upset the gumball released from the gumball machine is the wrong color

Friday, January 09, 2009

We've got it coming and going

A couple of things:

"I did a candy cane poop."

--Harrison appropriately naming the apparent shape of his morning turd.

On a cleaner note:

I bought this jacket for Jake through a catalog I love because well, the jacket was super cool and on clearance.

I am posting this message because this is the coolest jacket I have ever bought the boys (and I have a jacket fetish, so this is saying a lot). It has satin lining, is made of a rugged and heavy cotton twill, has rockstar zippers, a "Sgt. Rock" patch on the sleeve, an embroidered last name on the collar, which I'm guessing is the designer or something and the coolest slots on the other sleeve for crayons. Jake just got this jacket today and he's gotten so many compliments on it. I think even Jason wants one.

It looks like they have size 10/12 and size 2, so if you have a little boy either of those ages and are looking for a new jacket, this one literally rocks!!! Love it!

Monday, January 05, 2009

I DO Grow While I Sleep

"My penis was big while I was sleeping."

--The first thing Harrison said to Jason when he walked in the door from work.

Friday, January 02, 2009

I'm not in the mood for THAT.

"Tickles are not massages."

--Harrison correcting Jake's attempt at a foot massage