I Love the Smell of Dead Trees in the Living Room

We purchased our Christmas tree way too early. Got it on the 1st, I think, and well, its untouchable now. So dry at least one ornament tumbles to the carpet daily because the needles just aren't pliable anymore and as they crack and break, the ornaments are losing their grip.

Its a bonfire waiting to happen since all it would take is one wild ember to take flight from the fireplace and POOF! our pretty dead tree would be pretty no more.

What I've noticed most about the tree this year is that the "deader" (as if there are levels of "deadness") the tree got as indicated by the dry needles and inability to soak up anymore water, the more fragrant it got. Everytime I leave the house and come back inside, the tree is the first thing I smell and its so festive.

To all of you fake tree lovers out there - definitely worth the mess and hassle of a real tree. Come on over. I won't charge you to catch a whif of our lovely noble fir.

6 Going On 16

I mostly dressed Jake today, but it was the way he carried himself that really made me stop and watch him. He was so relaxed, hands in his pockets just chillin' and it was this attitude that got me thinking he looked more like 16 than 6.

Shout out!

Laura and I were shopping at the Allen Outlet Mall yesterday and I'd like to give a shout out to the extremely beautiful man at the Calvin Klein cashier station. He didn't handle my purchases, but OMG, I had to stop and stare at him through the window after I left in complete awe.

Beautiful beautiful man.

I Exist!

In my desperate attempt to provide visual documentation that I existed during the boys' childhood, I volunteered a couple of family members to shoot some impromptu pictures of me with the boys. Here are a couple of the "better ones".

The Best Christmas Present

I used to love Christmas. The smell of the tree (real of course), watching the same five holiday movies over and over again (typically National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, Home Alone, White Christmas, The Grinch, A Christmas Story - damn, that reminds me I haven't watched that one yet this year), the baking and decorating of the sugar cookies and who could forget the magic of opening present after present after present on Christmas morning?

Jason and I have tried to recreate my childhood traditions with the boys and have even added an additional tradition of our own, which is our annual horse drawn carriage ride to look at Christmas lights. The boys watch the same movies, help us pick out and decorate the tree and although the sugar cookie dough is rarely made from scratch, the process of decorating (and eating) them miraculously hasn't changed. The tradition of gorging the tree with presents for the Christmas morning greed fest continues this generation as well.

The problem we're having is the boys not only don't NEED anything, but they really haven't said they WANT anything. Ok, ok, Jake has mentioned a few things, but oddly enough the boys don't develop their Christmas lists from the 30 second breaks during their SpongeBob program. We really don't hear "I want that!" every time a small child on a sugar high is on the tv having the time of his life with the latest hideously colored turquoise or purple toy that is either loud, messy or claims to be educational.

So, I'm embarrassed to admit that Jason and I literally had a date at Toys R Us where we bought age appropriate crap we think they will like - it was a date to buy toys JUST FOR THE SAKE of buying toys. Its really sad.

Lately, while watching the boys play during our tri (yes tri) weekly visits to McDonald's, I realized the best present we could give Jake we've already given him - his little brother, Harrison. I would say the Jake is the best present we could have given Harrison, but that doesn't quite work, so I'll just have to say, "you get the picture."

The boys play so well together - they chase each other, they wrestle, they play legos and color and snuggle on the couch while they watch SpongeBob, they take baths together. Harrison adores Jake and does everything he can to be like him. Jake would be very lonely at McDonald's playgym without Harrison.

For anyone himming and hawwing over whether to have a second baby - definitely do! Yes its more work and you have to start everything over and over again, but it all goes so quickly and your first born (assuming they are within 3 years like Jake and Harrison) will love the built in playmate he/she can learn some of life's most important lessons from.

Plus, they occupy each other for hours on weekend mornings so Jason and I can sleep in.

Having Harrison was the best present we ever gave Jake, and our family.

Double Yum

I'm not a super huge TV watcher. Honestly, I'd rather read a magazine or a book, than sit in a vegetable like trance for hours watching other people mimic real life. I'm not a TV hater or anything. I like my shows like anyone else, I just find that I seem to have less of them that I watch regularly than other people I know.

My dad, for instance, will sit and watch the Food Network ALL DAY LONG. When I tell my mother they need to get a tivo for their TV, she jokes that it wouldn't be any good since the only channel they get is the Food Network.

Friends of mine have at least one show every day of the week and sometimes multiple shows back to back. More often than not I find myself consistently repeating the phrase, "I don't watch that" or "I haven't seen that" to deer in the headlight looks of shock and awe.

I loved the show Friends, but didn't really start watching it until it was already on for 2 years. With Sex and The City, one of my all time favorites, I had to borrow the DVDs from Blockbuster for the first 4 seasons before I got caught up. Same with Sopranos, another favorite and now I've started the same intense focus to get caught up on Grey's Anatomy.

It reminds me so much of ER, which I really liked too, but ER never really had a super hot actor to keep my attention. I could stare at Patrick Dempsey all day long - and will never stop wondering how the dorky guy from LoverBoy became Dr. McDreamy.

Double Yum.

Yum

I feel the need to share some thoughts regarding some tasty treats I've eaten recently. Its the Potbelly Sandwich shop's bag of a dozen mini oatmeal chocolate chip cookies that are baked fresh in the stores daily. I've known about them for several months, but wanted to consume several dozen, in the matter of research of course, to be sure my recommendation is legitimate and not an overzealous promotion based on one fluke bag.

They are real and I believe you can buy one large oatmeal chocolate chip cookie instead of the minis, but I think the minis last longer and the bag is resealable - a bonus for saving the last two or three that you could definitely polish off, but out of nothing more than sheer guilt, you push the bag away begging your spouse to eat them before you do, but he doesn't eat more than one (how is that possible?), leaving you two to savor the next day.

I have no idea how much this bag of goodness costs, but I think its somewhere around $2 to $3 and absolutely worth it. Next time you're in a Potbelly Sandwich shop, you must experience the best oatmeal chocolate chip cookie - EVER. Period.

This Moment

My December issue of Real Simple suggested some "non traditional" Christmas songs for your holiday playlist, so I went to itunes today to check them out. Most, if not all, were in the R&B genre and I selected one titled, "Back Door Santa". Jason will laugh at it and suggest that he, too, should be the Back Door Santa.

The boys came down from an hour of silence upstairs (doing who knows what? refer to the Silence is Golden post earlier today) to request some lunch. I put my Christmas playlist on my ipod speaker and the boys and I jammed to "Run Rudolph Run" while I reheated Thanksgiving leftovers.

Jake scoffed at my lunch menu and disappeared. I stopped periodically to dance with Harrison and he just giggled and laughed and put his hands up for more when I would return to finish preparing his lunch.

One time, I picked him up and cradling him like a baby, I spun around and he giggled while watching the ceiling spin. I stopped, nuzzled his nose mimicking an eskimo kiss and listened to him giggle. Although today is a holiday for most (except Jason, who is at work trying to "carve out a living" as he calls it), it is these moments that make me truly thankful that I can be home with him, to play with him, dance with him and listen to him laugh during the day.

Happy Birthday Harrison

Harrison celebrated his 3rd birthday at Build A Bear Workshop on Saturday, November 17th with Jake, Taylor and Bailey. Grandparents were also there to celebrate.

Harrison made a fireman dog, named "Fire Dog". The kids had a great time creating their new friends, not all bears, and then we headed back to the house for his paw print cake, ice cream and presents. The kids even played a few rounds of hot potato and once the prizes were all awarded, they lost interest in favor of exploring Harrison's new presents.

Harrison really digged being the center of attention and I know he just loved having his friends and family there to celebrate his big day.

His actual birthday was on Thanksgiving, November 22nd, which we acknowledged by covering his bed with balloons for him to find when he woke up. Guess he'll have to share his birthday and the attention with the turkey every few years.

Silence is Golden

Last Sunday, Jason and I were reading the paper and watching home improvement shows. Other than the sound of an overzealous homeowner banging a sledgehammer through a wall on the tv, it was quiet. I asked Jason, "do we have children?"

When you have children, the silence is great......for about ten minutes. Then your mind starts to wander into all of the different deadly or destructive scenarios that could be taking place in silence and right under your nose, such as:

• Jake has covered Harrison with a blanket and is holding him down, so he can't breathe.
• Harrison has banged his head at just the right spot so he's passed out, unconscious.
• Jake has opened the window screen and they both climbed out and are now lying, dead on the driveway from playing superman from the second story roof.
• Harrison is contently stuffing an entire roll of toilet paper into the toilet, followed by an entire container of baby wipes, while Jake silently watches tv in the playroom.

Jason worries faster than I do, so he puts his paper down and heads upstairs to check on them. I am immediately summoned to see what they've been up to and I've been instructed to hurry. As I get closer to the playroom, I hear a child song, probably Pop Goes the Weasel (or something similar) playing from the Leap Frog music radio in the closet. Jake is lying on the ground, facing the open closet. I look in the closet and Harrison is sitting on top of some bookshelves, grooving to his music. I have no idea how he got up there and even less idea of how he was planning to get back down, but for the moment he was happy. Although we made it pretty clear he wasn't to climb up there again, I had to take a picture to give you (my readers) a visual.

Boys will be boys.

Lying Preserves

I found a very useful trait that the boys have inherited from Jason - their inability to lie without getting caught.

I learned early on with Jason that he couldn't even tell me the smallest white lie while looking me in the eye. He always looks away at the very moment the lie is being exposed OR he'll attempt to look me in the eye while smiling.

For example, a few years ago, shortly after I'd gotten a new car, I noticed a few small blue streaks on the corner of my back bumper. "Jason, did you scrape my car with the trashcan while you were trying to get it out of the garage?" "No, I don't know what you're talking about," said while looking down. As I got closer and repeated the question, Jason giggled while looking at me even before he tried to proclaim his innocence.

So far, it seems, the boys have inherited this very useful trait from their daddy and I'm hoping that, like their daddy, they don't outgrow it or practice overcoming it. It will come in very useful in their teenage years.

Harrison now: "Harrison, are you pooping in your pants?" "No," as he looks at the ceiling.
Harrison later: "Harrison, did you have three girls in your room last night?"

Jake now: "Jake, did you stuff the toilet with all of this toilet paper?" "No," as he tries to hide a smile and looks to the side.
Jake later: "Jake, did you put tire tracks with your truck in the neighbor's front yard?"

Events in Pictures

Things have been crazy for me lately as soccer wrapped up for the season, my internship is half finished, another company is hot for me (as they all should be), I've been working on AMA events, writing the monthly newsletter for my former employer, Harrison's birthday is right around the corner, school is officially over in two days, Halloween is behind us now, Thanksgiving is coming, my parents are coming and graduation is at the end of the month. Whew! November is a blur already.

I don't have a lot of interesting (aka "funny") things to blog about these days....just busy. But I do have some pictures to share that will illustrate some of what we've been doing.

Saturday. October 27. 2007. Jake (6) and Ben (almost 4) walking to Kyle Field in College Station to watch the Texas A&M Aggies host the Kansas Jayhawks in a football game. I graduated from Texas A&M in 1999 and Ben is the son of my college roommate, Barbara.

We're considering making one game a year an annual tradition. Barbara's husband, Max, is an Aggie too, but with Jason a longhorn, I'm not sure how that will work out. I'm sure I'll have to share my college brainwashing with Jason at some point.

Sunday. October 28.2007. Jake (6) and Harrison (almost 3) at a pumpkin patch in Richardson, Texas.

The Lawrences, the Martins and the Domaleskis gathered to take the kids to the Owens farm pumpkin patch, which was closer to home and never before explored by this group. Upon arrival we found each person was $6 to get in, so Laura and I took Jake, Harrison, Bailey and Taylor (4) in for pictures, hay rides and goat feeding while the dads stayed in the parking lot.

Wednesday. October 31.2007. Jake (the Scream dude) and Harrison (a spider) ready to go trick or treating.

We have a neighborhood tradition of eating chili at the Martins'. Then the moms take the kids trick or treating while the dads stay home to pass out candy. We had five kids, Jake (6), Harrison (almost 3), Bailey (5, who was a cheetah girl), Braeden (5, who was a swat team dude) and Andrew (almost 3, who was optimus prime) and all did very well.

Bedtime Beatings

I realize two year olds are notorious for delaying their inevitable slumber after the sun goes down. Harrison is no different. Here's the screen play of our evening after I closed the boys' bedroom door (for the first time). (Jason had long since disappeared to play his piano with his earphones on.)

Cori (exiting the master bedroom sees Harrison's legs as he's crawling into the guest room): "Hey, what are you doing? (she picks him up and walks him back to bed) "I forgot to lock you in there." (closes the door and locks it from the outside)
Harrison: giggles (hot wheels truck in hand)

5 minutes later...

Harrison (banging on the door and screaming): "Mama! Maaaaama! Ma-ma!"
Cori (turns on the hall light and opens the door): "What do you want?"
Harrison: "I need go potty."
Cori: "No you don't."
Harrison: "Yes, I DO!"
Cori (leading him to the bathroom and stripping him from the waist down): "There, now you'd better go."
Harrison plays with the shower curtain and rolls his truck around the toilet seat.
Cori: "Stop playing with the shower curtain and focus!"
Harrison: "I no need go potty."
Cori (dresses Harrison): "I knew it. Let's go. Back to bed." (tucks him in) "Now go to SLEEP!"

2 minutes later.....

Harrison (banging on the door and screaming): "Mama! Maaaaama! Ma-ma!"
Cori (tries to ignore him for a bit, but he's banging harder, so she opens the door again): "What?"
Harrison: "I go time out."
Cori: "What?"
Harrison: "I go time out."
Cori: "No, nice try, but you're not going to time out. You can go to time out on your bed. Now good night."

2 minutes later.......

Harrison (banging on the door and screaming): "Mama! Maaaaama! Ma-ma!"
Cori (goes to the door for the third time): "This better be good."
Harrison: "I go poo poo."
Cori: "You really need to go poo poo?"
Harrison: "Yea, I go poo poo."
Cori walks Harrison to the bathroom and strips him again.
Harrison (plays with himself): "I no need go poo poo."
Cori (dressing Harrison): "Don't come out of bed again or I'm taking your truck away."
Harrison: "Oh."

30 seconds later.........

Harrison (banging on the door and screaming): "Mama! Maaaaama! Ma-ma!"
Cori (opens the door)
Harrison: "My need covers."
Cori (puts Harrison in bed and covers him)

3 minutes later............

Harrison (banging on the door and screaming): "Mama! Maaaaama! Ma-ma!"
Cori (opens the door ready to dispose of Harrison's truck)
Harrison (crying and pointing to his head): "Truck hurt my head."
Cori (walking Harrison back to bed): "Perhaps if you were in bed, the truck couldn't hurt your head. You're not bleeding, so I don't want to hear it. Get back into bed. Jake is asleep. You should join him."
Harrison: "Oh."

Wow, after typing all of that, I'm surprised I had as much patience with him as I did. Usually by visit two I would have killed his night light, taken his toy away and threatened to remove all of his stuffed animals too.

Conversational Counting

Cori to Harrison this afternoon: "Harrison, are you tired?"
Harrison: "Yeah, I tired."
Cori: "Me too."
Harrison: "Me three."

Quote of the Day

"When you turn your car on, does it return the favor?"

Said by a woman in a Cadillac commercial. I love it.

Never Thought it Could Happen: A Martini Letdown

I was washing my hands at the gym earlier this week, when I noticed a new flier taped to the bathroom mirror. Awesome! Now I don't have to count to 20 like a good sanitary girl, I can read something to pass the time. Even better it happens to be a picture of a martini with a recipe below it! I know its only 10:30am, but I was hot and it looked so cold, fruity and frothy, so I stared at it with pitiful longing until I focused and started reading.

It was called a "proteini" and there was not one bit of the good stuff in there at all. It was a fake! An imposter! I felt betrayed and suckered and the worst part was that a martini still sounded mighty tasty. I'm not one to drink alone and my only available drinking companion at 10:30am was all of the ripe age of two, so I grabbed my water and decided that no matter how scrumptious the picture looked, I could not drink a beverage called a "proteini", which was simply a smoothie in a martini glass. That's just wrong.

My Parenting Manual: The Three Martini Playdate

Saturday as we hung Halloween decorations on the outside of the house due to Jake's persistent prompting, the boys were whipping us so much that we placed an impromptu phone call to Charlie and Kim (Jason's Dad and Dad's wife) to see what they were doing. Ninety minutes later, the boys were downtown at their condo while Jason and I enjoyed a leisurely meal and some light window shopping.

While at Z Gallerie, Jason suddenly grabs my hand and pulls me to a large table with various books and novelty games on it to show me a book called, The Three Martini Play Date, A Practical Guide to Happy Parenting by Christie Mellor. I read a short paragraph and was instantly hooked. This is my type of book! I finished the entire 150 page book that night in about two and a half hours while watching tv. If anyone ever questions the method to my parenting madness, I will instantly hand them this book and tell them to read it. Then they will understand. THIS WOMAN IS ME! SHE GETS IT! I'M NOT MEAN AND CRAZY - I'M SIMPLY NOT LETTING MY CHILDREN RUN MY HOUSEHOLD! The whole book is genius and basically my complete belief of how children should be raised, but I will share a few snippits with you here........

First as an ode to my former post, "My Hell Defined" (if you didn't read it, pause here, go read it and come back), I must share with you this sentence found on the very first page of the book.

"One wasn't required to transport the little children hither and thither, here to T-ball practice, there to a 'playdate,' may the chipper mommy who coined that particular term forever rot in hell of eternally colicky babies. " You would have thought I read this book first and then posted "My hell defined."

Saying No Like You Mean It:
"To what depths have we sunk as parents? We have become ineffectual lap dogs to our children, with all the power and authority of retired security guards. We are bigger than they are. We are supposed to be running things. If you don't start saying no to your children as if you mean it, and you don't start now, the fussing will only get worse...........Learn to say no to your children while they are still young and somewhat malleable, and it will be like money in the bank when they reach those really unbearable hormone-laden years."

On Bedtimes:
"Often parents think that letting their child fall asleep 'naturally' is more, well, 'natural,' although I find nothing natural about a six year old building a fortress out of the sofa pillows at ten o'clock at night."

At Social Events:
"On the other hand, there is the overly precocious 'little adult' who is eternally encouraged to join in with the grown ups, having been told too many times she is 'beautiful' or 'so funny' or 'exceedingly smart.' These tiny party crashers find it necessary to dominate the grown ups' attention with a desperate display of their banter."

Child Labor:
"If your child is older than say, four, there is no reason on earth why he shouldn't be getting his own breakfast, and picking the paper up off the front lawn while he's at it."

"A child who has never been given chores to do is a child who grows up with a skewed sense of entitlement. He shares your home, but strangely, things get picked up after him. The bedsheets are magically changed and laundered, the dinner table is miraculously set every night, and he rarely is told to lift a finger to clean up his messes.......It is time for you to get some much deserved help around the house, not only to lighten your work load but to save your child from growing into an arrogant and spoiled teenager and, ultimately, a helpless grown up." Amen sister!

On Adult Socializing During Playdates:
"I have discovered an easy and fun solution for quickly weeding out the types of parents with whom you would rather not share your afternoons. When forced into a playdate situation, invite the parents over around the cocktail hour........at which time I suggest you noisily and with much gusto mix up a cold batch of martinis. This is a surefire way of separating the wheat from the chaff, the cream from the nondairy soy alternative. If after you have offered drinks all around, the visiting parents quickly gather the child and run silently from your house, enjoy your martini with the knowledge that these people were not the sort with whom you would want to embark upon a long term playdate relationship."

Finally, I leave you with a list of activities called the "Do It Yourself After School Enrichment Program", which are suggestions as an alternative to overscheduling your children in 500 extracurricular sporting and cultural events during their waking hours:

1. Care and Cleaning of Barware
2. Fun Foot Rubs for Mom and Dad
3. Finding Neat Hiding Places to Build Forts and Hide from Parents for Hours on End
4. Skedaddling for Beginners
5. Emptying the Dishwasher
6. The Mediative Qualities of Furniture Polishing
7. Hospital corners and the Well Made Bed
8. Make Yourself Scarce
9. Weeding for Fun
10. Delicious Snacks for Mom and Dad
11. The Magic of Sock Sorting and Clothes Folding
12. The Art of Walking on Tiptoes
13. Chemistry in Action! The Gin Fizz
14. Letting Mommy Nap 101

I hope you've enjoyed this post as much as I have. Its like reading the book all over again - and I just might do that! I highly recommend it, although if you subscribe to the philosophy of parenting Christie is mocking, not only do I recommend it, I DEMAND that you read this book. Its never too late to take control, teach your children respect and above all else, how to make a very tasty martini. Its a character building trait that will serve them well for many years to come.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Gotta brag on my big boy kindergartner (stop sighing in boredom - I can hear you) for what a great job he's been doing at school.

Last Friday he came home with a "Good Work Award" for doing "nice work". He stayed on green for good behavior all week and today at the school's Friday afternoon pep rally called "Coyote Call Out", Jake was recognized as one of three kids in the whole school to get a respect award.

During a conference with his teacher yesterday, Jake was commended for being one of the class' most respectful students as well as for taking exceptional pride and care in doing his work. He is starting to read and is at or above all of the skill sets the class has worked on so far the first six weeks.

He must get it from his mama.

Harrison's Quote of the Day

The four of us were sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast this morning. In the ongoing need to rub in that I am now 30, Jason asked Harrison, "Harrison, is Mama 30?"

Harrison's smile quickly turns into a little giggle as he says, "No, Mama is not dirty!"

With a different image of "dirty" in his head, Jason now decides that being 30 means I am also dirty. Super.

My First 30th Birthday

Today was notably the busiest day since I became unemployed in April and it began with an alarm clock wake up at 5:30 am. I was out the door at 6:30 before any of my boys knew it was a new day and headed to my first day as a part time intern at D Magazine.

Finished my "Dtention" (as the creative/design team calls their office) and was finally forced to make up with my step mother in law, Kim, from a heated discussion we had nearly a month ago as she was keeping Harrison for me while I worked. Thankfully she is still just as wonderful as I always thought she was and we parted back to normal, I believe. She and Charlie wished me Happy Birthday.

Harrison passed out in the car as it was 1:45, so to maximize his nap, I pulled up to Jake's school at 2:15 and sat in a running car for 30 minutes until school let out.

At 3:30, pink roses (that I was told later were supposed to be purple - my favorite color) were delivered by one of my most wonderful friends, Kinsey. I called her to thank her and she always makes me laugh so we had a great visit.

Jake had a 6:00 soccer game, so after inhaling a dinner of hot dogs, yogurt and cheetos, we rushed to the game. At 7:30 I was serenaded "Happy Birthday" by my boys in a dark kitchen with only the flicker of two candles, a "3" and a "0" side by side. Harrison couldn't wait to get to the cake and actually had poked several holes in the side to taste the purple frosting Jason created.


My mother in law sent a gift home with Jason. So thoughtful and my parents called to hear about my day. It was a nice birthday. Quiet, but busy, so I didn't have too much time to mope about how old I feel now. The first of many 30th birthdays to come.