Wednesday, April 11, 2007

The Half Ass Class

I blame my parents for this. It'll be part of my mid life therapy discussions I'm certain, but I have a problem that stems from childhood - if I participate in something I do it 110%. No, that's not my "cliche" phrase I'm using to prove I'm a fantastic team player and always go the extra mile. It's unfortunately, true. Here are some examples:

  • When spending a night drinking with friends, I usually spend the following morning with my head over the toilet. See 110% participation.
  • When cleaning my house, it takes me 3 hours just to clean one room. 110% attention to detail.
  • When pregnant with my children, I gained 55 pounds each time. Should have been 30 pounds - again 110%. (If you're a previous boyfriend and you're reading this - I have lost every stinking pound!)
  • After volunteering with an organization for three months, suddenly they want to make me VP, where I have to turn in budgets, reports and coach and lead others. WHAT? It is really this issue that nurtured this post.....
I got involved through a professor and was excited to help (seriously, excited - not looking for creative ways to get an A), so I did. What efforts I did that seemed small were met with celebration, cheerleading, streamers, balloons, the whole works. That encouraged me to keep going (and made me wonder where these cheerleaders were in my company, because the pep rally there consisted of jealous fat girls and the chess club). Now, somehow I'm receiving "formal invitations" to be VP of Programs. Again, what?!!!

I have this little issue about leading people who know more than me. I only want dummies here, people. I have strategically placed myself in situations where I will only look GOOD. I'm starting to think, really, that its just that no one else wants this job. What do they know that I don't? Am I being suckered with a big congratulatory slap on the back only to find out at the end of the day there is a big "kick me" sign on my back?

I know I will give (say it with me) 110% and that they'll give me more and more to do. Can you teach someone to do things half ass? I need that class. Sign me up. This is flattering really, but again, I don't feel qualified and I can't leave my children in the car while I mingle with fascinating people over lunch.

A classmate tells me to go with it and fake it (she probably took the half ass class). Can you fake 110%?

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